Daniel Cornelius Siess, 83, Master of Frugality and Fun Daniel Cornelius Siess, born on February 26, 1941 in St. Clair, Missouri, passed away on October 19, 2024. The eldest of seven siblings, Dan learned early on how to stretch a dollar and ration a slice of pie, skills that would come to define his life. He grew up working on the family farm, a setting where he first cultivated the legendary thriftiness that would later leave sales clerks trembling at his approach. Dan was a man of many roles: devoted husband to Camille for over 50 years, proud father of four athletic and scholarly children, and a beloved grandfather to 14 grandchildren who will always remember him growling and scaring them as the "monster at bedtime". He served his country in the Navy during the Vietnam War, and afterward, he took a shot at being a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. While he didn't make the big leagues, it didn't dampen his enthusiasm for sports, coaching all of his kids in various sports and never missing a chance to reinforce the importance of practice and strategy. Dan went on to become a computer programmer and civil servant, applying the same meticulous logic he used to clip coupons and calculate gas mileage. He valued education, hard work, and finding the best deal in any situation. A notorious coupon clipper and frequent participant in free sample day at the grocery store, he was known to proudly sport his signature "Who Farted?" T-shirt at family gatherings, always ready to lighten the mood. Saturday evenings often found Dan at mass, strategically timing his exit to beat the crowd. In his eyes, getting out of the parking lot first was a win on par with any sporting achievement. If something was free, you could bet Dan was there-and if something wasn't free, he'd figure out a way to make it cost less. He was the undisputed king of squeezing every last mile out of anything he owned. Annual family vacations were very important to Dan, at the timeshare which he proudly scored at a discount. Whether it was a bridge hand, a pinochle game, or simply seeing who could snag the last dinner roll, Dan brought the same competitive spirit to everything he did. He is survived by his loving wife Camille; his children Jennifer Gansner (George), Brian Siess (Yuliya), Cynthia Kirkpatrick (JJ), and Jason Siess; his grandchildren George, Maren, Liam, Harper, Aeryal, Korynn, Danny, Abby, Cole, Mallory, and Josie; and siblings James, Alan, Urban, Lucy Taylor, and Eloise Newell. He is preceded in death by his parents, Esther and Leo, and his brother Jerome, who no doubt greeted him at the pearly gates with a well-worn deck of pinochle cards (double deck, no 9s). Dan took great pride in his ability to work hard throughout his entire life, no matter what the circumstances. He would like to be remembered as a man who loved his family, his faith, and the thrill of beating the system. In his honor, the family asks that you clip a coupon, snag a free sample, or leave church just a little bit early to beat the rush-Dan would love that. FUNERAL DETAILS: Visitation - Monday, October 28th 4-8PM Jay B. Smith Funeral Home in Fenton 777 Oakwood Dr, Fenton, MO 63026 Mass - Tuesday, October 29, 10AM St. Paul's Catholic Church Fenton 15 Forest Knoll Dr, Fenton, MO 63026